I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
