so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
