Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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