i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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