Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize