i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
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