is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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