I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
