All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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