Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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