this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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