i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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