that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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