Welp...herpes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize