lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize