I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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