So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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