bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
