Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize