fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
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I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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