My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize