"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
