I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
