Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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