Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
