Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize