Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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