i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
