he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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