I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I touched a dick in church today
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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