i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
