Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
