called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
