If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
