the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
