So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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