I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
