just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
3 2 1 whiskey
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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