We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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