The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I woke up under a house in Key West
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
