i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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