The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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