How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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