escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
