I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
