Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize