AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
