3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
