yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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