Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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