Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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