you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
