The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I need to stop coming to work sober
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
