my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just google imaged poop.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize