This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
