He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
