a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
