Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
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So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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