it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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