Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
