I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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