He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
