Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
