rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My vagina is officially offended.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
