i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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