Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
