So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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